On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate yourself at being human?
As you think about it let me tell you a short story.
Growing up I used to frequently have moments where I think that I’m failing at life. That I was going nowhere and anything that I do would not amount to something great. That the projects and activities that I involve myself in aren’t enough to make me successful no matter how much I compensate. I wanted to please people to get appreciation because I felt that my efforts aren’t enough. That I wasn’t enough and I’m a failure.
I rated myself a low four on being human.
My definition of a successful human being before was for one to live a life of perfection, reach goals, have high self-esteem, be financially secure, and many other positive traits. I had a narrow view of how the world works.
In order for me to rank higher, I needed to be perfect. I put on several masks so people wouldn’t ask too many questions and that I will “appear” like a ten. Little did people know, behind the mask, what I can’t express healthily came back at me destructively. With the self-imposed pressure of becoming pristine in front of others, I didn’t notice that I was forgetting to be more compassionate towards myself even losing my own self-worth. It was depressing.
It took a lot of unlearning and hard work but I was able to peel my mask off layer by layer. Seeing the world unobstructed by the narrow eyeholes was freeing. I embraced my flaws and weaknesses and built myself with better pieces. I didn’t need to be a certain way to gain approval from others. It’s more peaceful to be an imperfect human instead of being a perfect alien from a galaxy far far away.
Being human is not judged on perfection and success.
Being human means allowing yourself to experience life as it is. Going through highs and lows, joyful moments, heartbreak, victories, mistakes, and many other adventures that life has to offer makes you human. It’s normal for humans to experience bumps and find treasure in their journey.
Nothing that has happened in the past is wasted. Every moment has built you up to be the human you are today. Everything that you’ve lived through and every emotion that you’ve felt makes you 100% human.
No matter what they say, you are a ten.
No matter what you say to yourself, you – are – always – a – TEN.
Now, on a scale of 1-10 how would you rate yourself at being human?
Say it out loud!
“I’M TEN OUT OF TEN!”
Thank you for being an awesome 10/10 at reading my post!
I want to hear your thoughts! Comment them below 🙂
These words gently echoed inside my head as I laid down on our living room floor gasping for air. I took a break from doing a set of crunches and just stared at the ceiling letting the words sink in.
“I am broken. Kalvin, you’re broken!” I whispered to myself.
Then the most unexpected thing happened. I laughed out loud like a maniac! With each triumphant “ha” making my non-existent abs ache.
I found joy at that moment because finally, I have embraced the truth that everything is not right within me. I’m like a car with a loose gear trying to move forward in bad traffic. Accepting and owning my brokenness prompted me to go inside my heart and apply much-needed self-love to the parts that I have forgotten and neglected. Self-love can take little getting used to, and it may sting a little bit, but it has a promise of healing and of peace.
My journey during this pandemic has not been easy for me emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. You may see positive and fun posts coming from me but don’t be fooled, I’m struggling too. I’ve nearly lost myself to anxiety, I’ve almost completely shut myself off from the world, and I’ve countlessly rocked back and forth between faith and doubt. I’ve had many okay days, not so okay days, and days where I sit in the middle of the two. What kept me going was clinging to an unexplainable piece of hope, honest conversations, and a little bit of exercise.
How about you? How are you feeling? Are you ok?
Wherever you are, whatever you’re feeling, and whatever situation you are in don’t lose sight of hope. Maybe you’re also being invited to go inside your own brokenness too. Don’t be afraid to do what you need to do to heal. Go take that sick leave, say no, delete your social media apps, start exercising –anything!
Life can be messy right now but it can’t take your hope from you. So hang in there and believe that breakthrough is still coming.