Finding The Missing Piece (1/3): What Do You Desire?

“What you desire on the deepest level, tells you of who you really are”

Sr. Bubbles Bandojo, RC

We are all made up of different parts and pieces. Some pieces may be broken, and some may have gotten unbreakable through time. Each piece is an important part to complete the whole. 

We sometimes ask these questions: 
“Why do I feel like there’s something missing?”
“What is my purpose in life?”
“How do I go about finding it?” 
“I think I already found it, what should I do next?”

Friends, I assure you that you’re not the only one thinking about these things. Finding the missing piece is a journey that’s worth taking. I hope to at least be a humble guide who can point you in the right direction by sharing what I know. 

Journey with me in three parts in finding our missing piece. Let’s go right in.

What Do You Desire?

When something goes missing our first instinct is to try finding it. It’s easy to start a search when we can describe what we are looking for. If it’s a pen, we can search an area for a particular brand, model, and tint color. Without any description, it’s not so easy to look for something missing.

I’ve come across many people, including myself, feeling that their life seems to be meaningless and doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. Most of them have stable jobs and income, and yet they feel stuck. It was hard for them to find their missing piece because it is not something they can fully describe. Sometimes, they don’t even know that it’s already in front of them.

Some may have it all figured out already. Part of our missing piece can be found in pleasurable experiences. “When I get a taste of that special ramen from Japan, my life will be complete.” Or it can be expressed in our dying wish. ”If I could only talk to my daughter again and ask for her forgiveness, I can go peacefully.” Our missing piece can be anything and they are different for each individual. 

But where do we look? The piece that we are looking for can be found in our deepest and truest desires. When we live out our desires with a sound mind, we find a sense of purpose and direction. I say with a sound mind because we have to be able to discern which particular desires will serve us into becoming who we want to be.

So, what is it that you desire?

For some, this is an easy question. The majority gets stumped by this because they have been so busy living their lives not realizing that they’re leaving their desires behind. Right now I invite you to set your inhibitions aside and take the center stage.

Set a fire in your soul

Awaken Your Desires

We will go through an activity to help guide us and awaken our desires. I encourage you to do this in a reflective mood, without any distractions.

Guidelines:

  • Get yourself a pen or open a notepad.
  • Click the play button and jot down as many answers as you can until the music stops.
  • Proceed to the next question and do the same.

Are you ready? take a deep breath. 

What do you LIKE

What do you WANT

What do you DREAM

What do you DESIRE

I am sure you have written down many things. Keep your answers so you can ponder about them later.

You would notice that even if the words above are synonymous, the depth of their meaning also progressed. Likewise, the things you have written may have also progressed in depth and some of the items you wrote may have funneled out. The way we write our answers gets deeper as we progress toward the word “desire.”

Our desires may change over time. What we desire now can even give birth to another desire as we begin to journey along where our desires are pointing. The journey with desire has three movements.


3 Movements of Desire

Honor your desires
1) Acknowledge

Your desires are part and parcel of who you are. Let them surface without judgment. Sometimes we tend to suppress our own desires because we are ashamed of them or we have lost hope in them for they seem so impossible to reach. Desires are anchored to your values. Recognize and honor your desires.

I hope the previous exercise helped you remember and acknowledge your desires. Maybe you listed down some of your closely held dreams since childhood. Like a child, allow yourself to wildly desire for something again without any self-doubt and certain that it will happen at the perfect time. Also, maybe your desires have changed since you were a kid. Look at the difference between your desires then, and your desires now. Did your desires become more meaningful or have you given up on them?

Electricity. Which of your desires is your strongest desire? Which one, when you think about it gives you goosebumps and the feeling of electricity running through your veins? Which desire ignites a blazing fire in your heart? Is it only one desire or a combination of many?

Being able to live out the desires that give us life and electricity makes us free, they make us fly. These electric desires can point us to where God wants us to be, and what desires for us to become. Feel the electricity.

Let it take root
2) Desire It

Now that your electric desires are known. The next movement is for you to desire it more.

Let your desires deepen its roots. To strengthen your desire you need to test it. Is this something I deeply and truly want? Will this desire lead me to a future where I will be at peace and happy? Is this desire truly mine or just brought about by peer pressure? Does this desire deepen my love for myself and others? Desire your desires.

Pray for your desires and see what more you can discover about them. 

Do not worry if you still haven’t figured out your desires. It’s not a race. Maybe that’s where you need to start – to have the desire to desire.

As our desires take root and lead us deeper, you would notice them bearing fruits. Fruits that bless you and the people around you. The stronger and deeper the roots are, the harder it is for your desires to be toppled down by other people.

With our desires taking root, there is one movement left that we need it to go through. It’s the most difficult one. Letting the desire go.

Will you be able to let go?
3) Let it go

I know, I just told you guys to acknowledge and deepen your desires and work on them. Now I’m telling you the famous words of St. Elsa of ArendelleLet it go.

Let it go.

Our desires lead us to a destination. A destination that we can picture out in detail. If you desire to get married, you have probably imagined yourself at the altar tying the knot. If you desire to have kids, you can envision yourself carrying a baby in your arms with your spouse. If you desire to become the CEO of the company, you may have daydreamed about going up the ranks and successfully making it on top.

We should be prepared to let go of our desires.

We should not be too attached to it especially if it’s not giving you peace.

I have a friend who once went inside a novitiate following a vocation to become a Jesuit. He was so sure that this is what he wanted for his life. While inside, he was having trouble in his discernment a couple of years in. One night he fervently prayed for God to tell him if it’s his will to become a Jesuit. In his heart, God told him – “Is this what YOU really want? You can put it down.”

One of the hardest things to do in life is to let go of what you hold precious in your heart. Especially letting go of things that you have been fighting and working so hard for. My friend put his desire for pursuing his vocation down and ended up blessing many people by serving as their spiritual companion. Letting go of his deepest desire made way for an even better one.

Let go and know that what’s meant for you will stay and work out for your own good.

Does your deepest desire truly complete you? Does it lead you to peace? Does it bring you closer or away from God? Let it go.

Reflect

These are the three movements of desire. It’s a lot to take in and unpack but I will let you do that in your own time.

Your desires are real and important. Honor them, make them grow, and when the time comes, let it go. Your desires will lead you to your truth and you’ll begin to uncover your life’s greatest treasures. 

I pray that you keep nurturing your healthy desires.

Thank you so much for reading until the end. You did such good work on yourself. Sending a virtual pat on the back!

Keep safe my friends.

I’m interested to hear your thoughts about the first part of “finding the missing piece”. Comment below your insights, realizations, questions, or anything that crossed your mind in this post. Click follow to get notified when part 2 and other content is up. 


Sound Credits:

A Quiet Thought | Wayne Jones | https://www.youtube.com/audiolibrary_…)

Watercolor Lilies | Aaron Kenny | https://www.youtube.com/audiolibrary_…

Falling Snow | Aakash Gandhi | https://www.youtube.com/audiolibrary_…)

Anton | Dan Bodan | https://www.youtube.com/audiolibrary_…)

Image Credits:

Photo by Patrick Hendry on Unsplash

Photo by Alexis Fauvet on Unsplash

Rainbow-Trees2 | JAMES RONAN, FOAP/GETTY IMAGES

Photo by Devon Divine on Unsplash

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Photo by Eye for Ebony on Unsplash


Letting The Sun Rise On Mirador Hill

Last December 2019, amidst all the loud Christmas celebrations, I was going through unrest. So I went up Mirador Hill in Baguio (a Jesuit Villa in the Philippines) for a silent retreat. A silent retreat, as I would describe it, is a retreat where you quiet yourself and listen intently to your body, your mind, your emotions, and importantly, listen to God (or if you may, to a higher being). Months leading to the end of last year was filled with overwhelming events and emotions, and the only thing I wanted was to walk away from all the noise. 

With all the buzz and busyness that we have in our fast-paced world, silence can be one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself. 

One night during my retreat, I found myself awake very early in the morning. It was still dark outside. Sensing a thrill of adventure, I put on my hoodie and went outside submitting myself to the cold morning air. The moon’s gentle light caressed the trees and the gardens, illuminating the pathways on the hill. I let my feet do the wandering until I found a comfortable spot on a viewing deck facing where the sun will rise. I sat there in solitude, patiently waiting for the night to give way for the day.

Relishing the cool breeze, I observed the lights of the city by the hillside. I felt anxious as I saw cars zoom around making early errands. A heavy sigh came out of my chest. I didn’t want to go back to the city. At least, not yet.

From the busy city below, my eyes fixed itself on an instrument bearing the four cardinal directions with a spinning arrow on top – a wind vane. The North, East, West, and South signs were fixed but the arrow will always point towards where the wind blows with no objections. The arrow was obedient to the wind. It didn’t resist its gale but instead followed it, even if it was spun around and around not knowing where it will point to next. I watched the wind vane fulfill its purpose. As I took in the view, the sun gradually filled the sky with magnificent light. 

I was teary-eyed as the rays painted the sky with beautiful colors. A masterpiece made just for me. It’s one of the moments that will last in my heart forever.

The sun rising on Mirador Hill

Let The Sun Rise

People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.

Thich Nhat Hanh

That morning taught me an important lesson that I’m still learning today – letting go

Letting go is hard especially when pain comes with it. We tend to always associate letting go with giving up control but it is also accepting things for ‘what they are’ and ‘what they are not’. Overthinking and replaying memories can ever change what has already happened or steer possible outcomes. It hurts more when we fight to tighten our grip on things that are not meant to stay. 

Letting go is trusting, accepting, and embracing uncertainties knowing that you’ll be ok. Although it seems frightening, there is freedom and peace when you let things go their natural course. When we let go we make space for new things that are sometimes packaged in uncertainty. 

Uncertainties will always come into our lives. It’s as constant as the rising of the sun and untamed like the blowing of the wind. It can come at us from any direction and point us toward uncharted territory. Wherever it leads, we just need to keep faith that we are exactly where we are meant to be. To experience new things that are not meant to harm us but strengthen us and make us better.

We cannot go to where we are meant to be unless we let go. 

Whatever you’re going through or if you’re in the middle of letting go. You’re doing great! During this pandemic maybe we are all invited to let go of what has been and embrace the new. Whatever that “new” thing is for you. As we continue to move, dear friends, hold on to hope, let go, and let the sun rise.


Thank you for reading! See you on the next post!

Leave your thoughts on the comments below.


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